TUPO PAMOJA WADAU

KANUNI ZA ULIMWENGU

SHERIA ZA ULIMWENGU
SHERIA YA UWEZEKANO:Uwezekano wa kutazamwa ni sawasawa na ujinga wa kitendo unachokifanya
SHERIA YA SIMU: Kila unapopiga wrong number lazima Simu ipokelewe
SHERIA YA UDHURU: Unapomwambia Bosi wako umechelewa kazini kwa sababu gari yako ilipata Pancha,siku inayofuata itapata Pancha
SHERIA YA FOLENI: Unapokimbilia Foleni nyingine,ile uliyoiacha itaanza kusogea haraka
SHERIA YA MAKUTANO: Uwezekano wa kuonwa na mtu anayekufahamu unaongezeka pale unapokuwa na mtu usiyetaka kuonekana naye
SHERIA YA MATOKEO: Unapotaka kumthibitishia mtu kwamba kifaa hakifanyi kazi, kitafanya
SHERIA YA SHUGHULI: Kwenye Shughuli yoyote,watu ambao Viti vyao viko mbali hufika mapema
SHERIA YA UBISHI: Kila kitu kinawezekana kama hujui unachokiongelea
SHERIA YA VIATU: Kiatu kikikutosha ni kibaya
SHERIA YA BIDHAA: Unapopata bidhaa unayoipenda,wanakuwa wameshaacha kuitengeneza
By sunbizo
bujI

WAZEE WA LIGI

Wapenda ligi watatu walibishana kuwa nani amekubuhu kwa ubishi katiyao .Wakaamua kila mmoja ahadithie ubishi wa haja aliomfanyia mkewe ili wapime nani kabobea zaidi kwenye hiyo fani.
Mbishi 1 akasema: Mi siku moja nilivyokuwa nje ya nchi nilimpigia mke wangu simu usiku kafungua simu hakusema haloo...kulaleki! na mimi nikakaa kimya sikuongea mpaka alfajiri wakati simu ilikuwa wazi.
Mbishi 2 akatia: Mbona hiyo cha mtoto, mi siku moja nimerudi home nikagonga mlango mke wangu akaufungua lakini hakusema karibu mume wangu...aliniangalia tu...nikaona analeta madharau! sikuingia ndani nikasimama hapo hapo mlangoni mpaka asubuhi...huyoo nikatimua zangu job.
Mbishi 3 akaunganisha: Hiyo nayo mbona cha mtoto tu, mi mke wangu tulipooana alikuwa anaona haya kunigusa...ananidengulia eti! na mimi sikumgusa na mpaka leo hatugusani.
Mbishi 1 na 2: Aaaaaaaah faza! acha usanii, nyie si mna watoto wawili lakini?
Mbishi 3: Na hao watoto sijamuuliza kawaokota wapi... kwani mi nataka mchezo!.
Jamani wana ATSA,Ndani ya ATSA yetu nani anaweza kubishana na hawa jamaa?

Jibu kwa sunbizo
Buji.

AL-MANARA NDANI YA BONGO

WADAU WALOKUWA AL-MANARA ,NA SASA WAPO WAKILIJENGA
TAIFA.KILA LA KHERI MASELA KATIKA MAMBO YENU

KULA 5 TOKA LA GRAND CHINE

AMINIA WADAU WA UCHINA TUPO PAMOJA KATIKA
KULIJENGA TAIFA KUPITIA KISOMO..............................

HAPO VIPI?

MIE THITHEMIIIIIIIIIIIII

WALLAH NIMEUMIS HUU MKOBA

WADAU MWAZIKUMBUKA ENZI HIZO?

ZE KIKWEZZ

MDAU WA CONSTANTINE ANAKUPENI 5.............

MKUU WA BODI YA MIKOPO LIVE NA OBAMA

MKUU WA BODI YA MIKOPO MH MKONO ALIKUTANA LIVE NA MH

OBAMA HUKO KIWANJA(MTONI).D'APRE MOI NADHANI SWALA

LETU LILIGUSIWA NA NDO MAANA LIBAHASHA LETU LIKA

KATIZA MAREKAN THIS TIME..........

SIFA ZA MBONGO HALISI

YANAYO TUFANYA TUWE WASWAHILI...

1.Unamwita mtu usiyemjua(wala kukutana nae kabla)aunt au anco.
2.Asilimia 90 ya CD pamoja na cassete za muziki ulizonazo nyumbani ni feki (sio original copies).
3.Stoo yako imejaa vitu (makorokoro) kwa kuwa hutupi kwa kuamini kuwa ipo siku utayahitaji kwa mfano karpet ukilitoa hulitupi n.k.
4.Una machupa ya maji matupu ya shampoo perfume pamoja na vipodozi vingine umeweka tuu wala huna shughuli navyo.
5.Watoto wako wote wana majina ya utani mfano mekiff,t puff,ubaya,ubaya,mr ,kennedy ,kaobizz ,twelaboy,shiriki,mapoz ,bronye.n.k.
6.Hakuna mtu katika familia yako anayetoa taarifa kwako anapo kuja kukutembelea mfano kaka,shangazi,masela n.k.
7.Mifuko yako imejaa vitu kama vile vijiti vya kusafishia meno,tissue,punje punje za mikate n.k ulivyochukua sehemu kama vile mgahawani.
8.Mama yako anamigogoro na ndugu na hawazungumzi kwa muda wa siku 10au zaidi.
9.Hupigi simu isipokuwa katika muda ambao gharama za kupiga ni nafuu mfn (dk 5 ,sms da 1,Ramadhan)na mara nyingi huwa una beep tu.
10.Ulipokua mdogo nguo unazonunuliwa pamoja na viatu ni vikubwa mara mbili ili uweze kuvivaa muda mrefu zaidi.
11.Wakati ukisafiri na ndege unabeba mzigo wa uzito mkubwa kuliko inavyoruhusiwa.
12.Unapomsaidia mtu na akafanikiwa basi utakuwa unasema kama sio mimi asingekuwa vile yule.

13.Sela anapomtokea demu ,au demu anapotokewa washkaji zake hupenda kujua matokeo..mfn(kama ashananii………….)
NOTE: Wapelekee waswahili wengine ili wajue ni kitu gani kinawafanya wao wawe waswahili..........................kama mimi na wewe ,
By sunbizo ,
Buji.

WHY MBONGO HAWEZI KUWA GAIDI?

Waswahili……………duh duh
Why Tanzanians can't be terrorists! 1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights
2. Pretty girls on the plane would distract us
3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
4. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there
5. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons down
6. We would ALL want to fly the plane
7. We would argue and start a fight in the plane
8. We can't keep a secret; we would have told every one a week before doing it.
9. We would have put our country’s flag on the windshield
10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph being taken by one of the hostages


By
Sunbizo
Buji.

NO COMMENT

MWAKA HUU SIJUI LINI

KIWANJA FLAN FLAN NA PREZDOO MSTAHAFU

WASHAFIKA............................

EBANA MASELA WAPYA NDO HAO WASHATIA MAGUU NDANI YA KIWANJA....

KARIBUNI SANA JISIKIENI MPO NYUMBANI.NA SHUKRAN ZA THATI KWA

WOTE MLOJITOKEZA KUWAPOKEA NA KUWASINDIKIZA MPAKA MAKWAO
MUNGU AKUZIDISHIENI;AMINNNN

KIKOSI CHA MAUAJI NDANI YA UWANJA MPYA

JALAMBA.......................

TIZI BOY

KIKOSI KAMILI

NAE ALIKUWAMO KIKOSINI................................

JALAMBA NDANI WA WANJA AMBALO HALIJAISHA

UKARABATI WAKE.........................

WADAU...............................

KIFAA CHA ATSA

DUUUUUUUUUU....................

MAWAIDHA...............

JALAMBA.............

NDANI YA WANJA JIPYA LA TMK(CUB3) AMBALO HALIJAMALIZIKA UKARABATI WAKE TOKA ZIONDOLEWE NYASI ORIGINAL KWA MAKUSUDIO YA KUTANDIKWA NYASI ZA BANDIA KIKOSI CHA ATSA KILIMENYANA NA WATOTO WA MUGABE(ZIMBABWE) NAKUTOKA SARE YA GOLI MOJA KWA MOJA

MALAVIDAVI BILA KICHAPO HAYASONGI...................

HII IMETOKEA KWETU MTAA WA PILI.......................

MSAADA JAMANI.....NIMETUMIWA HII NA MDAU

From Mrs Susan Morgan
N�[38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody Abidjan,Cote d'Ivoire
ATTNDEAREST ONE OF GOD I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Mr.Abram Morgan, who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account. Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don抰 have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don抰 want my husband抯 efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don抰 want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don抰 need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband抯 relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.
Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information抯, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply.
Remain blessed in the Lord. Yours in Christ, Mrs susan morgan..

HAPO VIPI?

MASHALLAH KIASI NASI WAMO.......................EH

5 TOKA KWA SUNBIZO JUNIOR

AMINIA DOGO KWA MBILINGE ZA KIMAISHA............................................

MOSCOW NEVER SLEEP

KULA 5 TOKA URUSI WABABE WA GEOGIA.TUMEZIPATA DA REHEMA NAWE WAPE ZE DOLEZZZZZZZZZ WOTE HUKO.SOTE WAMOJA